Old Age

 It's a strange thing.

There is no-one on this earth at 35, give or take a decade, who knows what it is like to be 65, or older. We hear about it, from others. We hear it from parents and grandparents, they tell us about it, or try to hide it. Either way. But no-one can know what it feels like.

People around us make assumptions, based on what they have been told. There are myths, assumptions. But no-one really knows, unless they are above a certain age.

Curiously enough the only adult age group that is almost entirely excluded from influencing outcomes that concern them are the aged. Homes are built, social events organised, care arranged by those who have no idea of what it is like to be old.

Recently an article in a Dutch newspaper (Volkskrant, 31 January 2018) explains how many of the over 65 enjoy a cup of coffee and a bun at Hema, a local department store chain. It is there that you can have a cheap breakfast until 10 am, or a cheap cup of tea or coffee and a slice of cake after 4 pm. You can stay as long as you like and watch the world go by. A world that is diverse, with young and old. Some Hema branches are nicer than others, admittedly, but as I wait for my granddaughter to finish her ballet classes on Tuesday afternoons, it's easy to observe the same faces each time.

The research was conducted by Roos Pijpers and Rianne van Mellik of Radboud University, who confirmed that many over somethings prefer not to use facilities especially designed to host them. And why should they. I remember my mother's horror at the prospect of spending time with people of her own age: "All those old people.." she used to say. I didn't understand then, I do now. As I said, no-one at 35, give or take a decade has a clue.

It is a strange experience to be 'outside'. Your mind and body don't do the things you are used to them doing. You no longer participate in the economy, or rather, in the creation of wealth. It's payback time - time to reap the rewards of the taxes paid, the investments made. You discover that all the things you have surrounded yourself with (and have been given over time) have very little relative value, and the mystery of your pension is not all it had promised to be.

All in all, you belong to a different time and space. All of us have an experience of childhood and adulthood, but old age still has to come, and when it does you have become something you were not before, and you are excluded from much that concerns you. You are judged by your age, no longer by your ability.